In The Blues Brothers movie, there is a scene when Jake and Elwood Blues (played onscreen by John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd) get in a car. Elwood comments, “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses.” To which Joliet Jake says, “Hit it!”
Over the years, it is a scene that my sister and I have acted out countless times at the beginning of our road trips. We did this because partly because we lived in the Chicago area and our parents had moved to Wisconsin after our dad retired.
On our trips, one of us would invariably comment another famous line from the movie:
We’re on a mission from God.
All my life I have felt that I was here to do something. I honestly always believed that I was here on purpose, that I had a mission.
Always.
I also knew that I was not the only one that felt this way. It would take me decades before I found like-minded people. We were born back in dark ages when there were only 6 US TV channels: ABC, CBS, NBC, WGN, PBS and the UHF station, WFLD (which you had to adjust the rabbit ears antenna to get a good picture).
Like the limitations of our TV viewing, we had limitations in our knowledge of our mission. Some of us listened to what our souls told us to do and lived an authentic life of purpose. While others, like myself, wrestled with disillusion and tried to fit in and follow what others did.
It never feels right if you are living in someone else’s version of what life is all about. It may be their heaven, but it can be your hell.
I did what everyone else around me did: got a job, got married and bought a house. It didn’t fulfill me. I kept telling myself I was happy, knowing deep down inside I was not.
Because I had a hard time hurting others, I stayed in an unfulfilling marriage for years. I couldn’t hurt my ex-husband by leaving but I made myself miserable by staying.
I told my shrink at the time, “It’s easier for me to be miserable than to make another person miserable.” He said, “Blatant honesty. Wow, I haven’t heard that one before.”
I wondered if he was being sarcastic or if no one had gone so deep into the depths into the study of their own pain to have an insight.
I got married in 1988. I knew the marriage was over in 1991, the year I had a spiritual awakening and began writing.
I quit my well-paying job December 31, 1999. In 2000, I got divorced and sold my house. I thought my life would get better.
It didn’t. But it’s all part of the journey.
One good thing is that I reconnected with the great love of my life, someone I had met briefly in the mid-nineties.
And I have to say it: If I had known know, what I knew then, I wouldn’t have done it this way.
So I ask again: Do you feel that you have a mission to fulfill? If so, are you doing it?
You will know that you fulfilling your mission when you are living a life on purpose, listening to your heart and following its promptings.
If you feel that you have a mission, but well, can’t remember what it is, keep reading my blog posts. You will remember what it is because I’m here to help you awaken to the beautiful soul that is you.
I am here to show that what Albert Einstein said is indeed true, that imagination is more important than reality.
Always,
Alice Always